why is ovulation not fun anymore 😭used to look forward to it every month but now it just makes me anxious and crampy unable to sleep. currently awake at 2am even though i start my new job tmr at 7 panicked because i have convinced myself the mild, intermittent dull pain i have had since yesterday that has not really gotten worse or changed at all and is only noticeable when i focus on it and position myself a certain way is definitely appendicitis and not the pelvic pain i get See More every month roughly 3-5 days before ovulation
cicada
im hanging out with two guys consecutively on sunday and monday and i have sent them both goodnight texts addressing them by name. i don’t think im even into either of them but man im bored i haven’t touched a man or a woman since august 2024
on January 17
cicada
lowkey convinced it’s excess energy from not getting laid or something Is this blue balls for girls i did not get this when i was lezzing out w my ex gf several times a week 😭
on January 17
on January 17
“hey you:0” ing my way into plans with 3 different guys rn then sending my group chat a picture of my plant on the toilet seat captioned “poop plant”
why wont the one i actually want to hear back from answer me 😭 5’8” pointy nosed awkward blonde italian man i need you like water
on January 14
on January 14
man i wish dating were still fun for me. i reconnected with a guy i used to date casually 4 years ago and it was fun he’s cool and said he wants to hang out more often + even brought up our previous relationship and he was very touchy/huggy with me and idk a part of me wants to entertain it but i fear i am unfortunately not over the guy i was seeing summer 2024. i really wish i could have gotten to know him at a time when we were both in a better place mentally. i lowkey thought See More we were just hooking up instead of just trying to get into my pants the first time i came over he just sang to me and kissed all over my face and told me im smart and pretty. it’s been over a year since we called that off and we are now very good friends and but idk i feel kinda terrible for ever having those intentions with a man who had liked me for several months before i even cared enough to look him in the eye bc i was too busy fawning over a girl who treated the relationship like a part time job and cheated on me with my “friend” and also bc i’ve probably missed my window lmao
irrelevant but he’s also hot in the weird oddly specific way i like… blonde hair perpetually exhausted looking, has some meat on his bones if yk what i mean…
on January 13
i thought i was ready to accept things and move on but then i went to his house the day after thanksgiving to pick up some medicinal herbs he offered me (wasn’t even intending to enter his apartment) but and when i got there he invited me in and he had candles and incense burning and he picked up a mug from the (already set) table and was like “i made you tea” See More and i fell twice as hard. up until him i have never felt like i could be this content to just share a space with somebody in silence and not have to fill the space with mindless banter and he’s so kind to me and man i need to move on but he doesn’t make it easy for me
on January 13
on January 13
on the train to work for a meeting and i j found out matt from black midi passed mannnn
died by suicide :( i dont even listen to bm much these days but man they were one of my favorite bands for a good 2 years straight i even saw them live in 2022. matt was not touring with them at the time but still. he was an incredible guitarist w an insane stage presence this is so heartbreaking
on January 13
on January 13
the Immediate Flu Of 2026 was definitely just my “tax” for good fortune to come i just landed a bartending gig a block away from where i live
on January 10
i had a dream last night where i went to this bar owned by the same company i work for and they made me a biblically terrible old fashioned
on January 09
last night was like the WORST night of the flu holy shit😭 fever went up to over 101 (after being gone for a day no meds) had to finally take nyquil which made my chest burn for 4 hours so i couldn’t fall asleep im pretty sure my ribs are literally bruised from coughing
on January 05
flu day 5 im sweating like a little bitch and i think ive lost like 10 pounds
on January 05
current plant collection oldest-newest:
-philodendron brasil
-golden pothos
-marble queen pothos
-hoya green ghost
-scindapsus silver satin
-money tree See More
-philodendron pink princess
-monstera deliciosa thai constellation
-pothos pearls and jade
-philodendron micans
-philodendron brasil
-golden pothos
-marble queen pothos
-hoya green ghost
-scindapsus silver satin
-money tree See More
-philodendron pink princess
-monstera deliciosa thai constellation
-pothos pearls and jade
-philodendron micans
on January 05
can we pls bring back qfeast mucus fandom i can finally participate there’s so much mucus in my body rn
on January 05
flu day 4 fever finally broke but i accidentally have been taking way too much nyquil /dayquil evil is afoot within my stomach
on January 04
on January 04
flu day 3 i would rather have been an employee at the world trade center on september 11th 2001
on January 04
had to take my mask off at work cuz it was literally almost 80. coworkers have been coming in sick all week so surprise!! started coughing yesterday woke up with the most violent sore throat and can’t fall asleep. will defo not be able to find cover bc most of my shifts r ass
on January 02
when i write songs sometimes i use placeholder words to hold the meter until i come up with actual lyrics and for this chorus im working in rn ive been singing “the six, the seven, bush did 9/11” why is this better than any actual lyrics i could write…
on December 27, 2025
can’t sleep thinking about that fungus that makes cicadas gay
basically it attaches itself to a male cicada’s back end and replaces the genitalia with spores and it produces amphetamines that make the cicadas aroused and they’ll literally engage in female courting behaviors to attract males to mate with 😭😭 gay cicada fungus is real i can’t make this up
on December 27, 2025
on December 27, 2025
