CorneliusHackl - Page 30

I'm going to unfollow a bunch of people, but ONLY because I don't want my News Feed all clogged up. I'll also only unfollow people who haven't created anything - if you have at least one poll or question or quiz or story or page, I won't unfollow you, but if you only have "following" or "followers," I will.

Humans think we're the best species on Earth, but honestly, the physical capabilities alone of other animals are just so awesome. What can humans do? We can walk. Well so can pretty much every other land animal on Earth. We can open doors. I'm sure octopi can, too - given that they can SOLVE RUBIK'S CUBES AND FIT INTO TINY JARS BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO BONES. We can put clothes on? So can monkeys. Chameleons and octopi can CHANGE THE FREAKING COLOR OF THEIR SKIN. Birds can FLY. Monkeys See More SWING FROM TREETOPS. Spiders WALK ON WALLS. There's a soccer-playing fish, a basketball-playing parrot, and skateboarding dogs. Dolphins can jump through hoops and learn how to read, not to mention recognize their reflections. Apes can make tools out of sticks and get ants from anthills.
And we're just prancing around, "Hee hee, look at me, I can walk on my two flat boxes! OOooh! I can gymnastics better than monkeys! I can swim better than fish! I can colors better than chameleons! I can fly better than birds! Heeeeeee, heeeeee!"

Then my cat Merlin, who's Matilda's sister (they were separated at birth and we reunited them) , has a love-hate relationship with Matilda. Some days, they're curled up on our rocking chair, literally wrapping their arms around each other, and giving each other baths. Other days, they're hissing, growling, ears back, fighting so hard that they rip chunks of fur off. Merlin's got longer hair than Matilda. They're both black American shorthairs, but his is way softer, so I'm guessing See More it's because it is longer. He doesn't meow as often as his sister, and when he does, it's because he wants food - or because Matilda's in trouble. His meow is really high-pitched, even more so than Matilda's. When he meows, and he's not over by the food bowls, we know something's up. We go over to him, and he meows again, this time walking forward. He makes sure we follow him, then walks more. He's seriously leading us, and then we get to a closed door. He meows some more, rubbing up against it. When we open the door, out stalks Matilda, tail high. We'd accidentally shut her in the room, but her brother lead us to her so she could be released. This has happened at least 10 times so far.

My cat Matilda has a urinary tract infection and pees/poops all over the house, so we recently had her "quarantined" in our guest bathroom downstairs. It was so hilarious. My dad literally had to tape METAL SHEETS on the floor under the door, because she would try to dig her way out. Every time I went down there, all I had to do was turn the doorknob, and I'd hear, "Reow? Mow?" It was so adorable. I'd go in there, and she'd just rub against me. When I sat down, she came right See More over, tail up, and walk across my lap like five times before walking away and coming right back again. She'd be purring, so I'd pet her and scratch under her chin. It was so cute, because this animal literally loves my body so much that she is vibrating, and so I would pick her up and cuddle her. We let her out now, because my mom doesn't want to trap her in there anymore. She's adorable.

Cat logic: I'm better than you. Pet me now. NOT THERE. TAKE YOUR HAND AWAY. I AM BITING YOU NOW. Yes, there, on my head. That spot is good. YOU HAVE CEASED YOUR PETS. COME BACK. Okay. I will sleep now. When I awake, there shall be food in my bowl, and I will feast.
Dog logic: You're so amazing and magical! Oh my god you're petting me! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! The all-powerful master actually shows love! WHAT IS THAT? OH MY GOD IT'S THE SQUEAK SMELL GOOD FOOD BALL. YES. THROW IT OH See More MY GOD THROW IT! Oh my god it bounces! It bounceSQUEAK BITE BITE WOOF YES IT TASTES SO GOOD.
Guinea pig logic: If I hear you or see you, you must be getting me food. I am so excited! Wheek wheek wheek! Where is my food? It's been one second and you have not provided me with food! I will squeak to remind you about the food.
Fish logic: Hello. You are big. I will go inside castle now. Yes. It is dark. I hear noise. Shaky shaky rattle. That is the sound that means delicious brown bits come down. I go outside and eat them. They are good. I hear other noise. It is hum. You say the words. There is other human that is also humming. I watch. I am happy.

Ugh... I hate when parents tell me to just "walk away" from my sister when she's fighting me, or "walk away" from a bully. According to them, if I walk away, I'm not giving them what they want.
WRONG. I'm actually giving them what they want. They're trying to drive me away, and they succeeded. For example, if my sister and I are arguing about our dollhouse downstairs, if I just walk away, she would get the entire thing to herself, being able to play all the characters and control See More the entire story.
I shouldn't just let her have what she wants. My dad's like, "Come upstairs and go away from her. If she can't play nicely with the dollhouse, don't play with her." But here's the thing: she won't leave, so I have to. So if she ever wants to be selfish and hoard the entire dollhouse to herself, all she has to do is be annoying. By "walking away," I'm punishing MYSELF.