do.panic

((Sal has bde change my mind))

Sal is super easy to draw I don’t even have to worry abt his nose or eyes or lips NOTHING just what his mask looks like lol
my drawing of him looks way better than all my other drawings, I’m proud

p l e a s e a s k m e w h a t s a l l y f a c e i s I w a n t t o t a l k a b o u t I t

Spoilers for sally face chapter 4 (I think)
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I HONESTLY CRIED SO MF HARD WHEN SAL WAS BEINNG EXECUTED LIKE MY B O Y N OOOO HE DOESNT DESERVE THAT HE NEEDS F*CKING HELP

Y’all uPdATe so umm there were parent teacher conferences like three weeks ago and this last Monday was my therapy appointment. My stepmom went into the room with my therapist for like 5 minutes then came out and had me go in. Apparently they were worried and suggested I get screened for generalized anxiety disorder and add. They also said they want to get me medication the last week before winter break so I could see what I’ll be like in a school setting. Also that week is going See More▼ to be my last week at my current school, I’m moving with my dad. So yuh um f*ck.

Even though I have a therapist now, and my family is being more supportive, and everything, I don’t feel better. at all. I feel worse actually. I feel suicidal, actually.

I would relate to the song 'I'm a mess' so hard if it didn't have anything to do with love.

y'all good news! I'm in counselling. But I want to get screened for like social anxiety, aspergers, and add (or adhd forgot which one). My doc recommended to get screened for the add/adhd one because of my meds and concerns. She said that I shouldn't have trouble with focus because of my normal thyroid levels now so eek. I've been having trouble with focus since I got on these meds when I shouldn't. So yuhh I'm not having quite a fun time in the club rn. I have told my dad and See More▼ stepmom like 5 times already and they keep making up excuses and shit. WUUGUGH! Also I f*cking hate spanish hopefully they'll let me drop tf outta it in short notice because BITCH I DONE, DONE. This is all happening so f*cking quickly too, it's only been about 5 weeks at most since this shit started. I want to violently yeet myself into the f*cking sun.

People piss me off so f*cking much. You ask me to hang out with you, than get pissed at me for stupid shit that you do too. I’m here to have a goood time bitch learn to not be a heinous bitch for once. Even my friends hate me my G-d.

(TW: sh)
I need help!!
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Today I wore a medium sleeved shirt that doesn’t exactly cover my cuts so I put liquid lipstick on them to make it look like a swatch to test it out. Apparently this kid pointed out my arm in my Spanish class and now everyone in my class it talking about it. And the worst part is that the popular girls are in there too and they know. I’m going to skip that class I’m not going I want to ducking die I can’t do this. This was my secret for so long I See More▼ don’t want people to know.

Rant:
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So I finally told my dad and stepmom that I might have social anxiety and I need help and they had the audacity to say stuff like
“Everybody has a little bit of anxiety.” See More▼
“We don’t believe in that.”
“You just need better coping skills.”
“I used to have a bit of anxiety when I was younger.”
“You’re not your mother, don’t be like her. You’re you.”
(As if I want it???)
“You’re not special.”
“It’s puberty.”
Like??? Do you think I want to feel like this all the time??? I’m so tired of always being held back by a barrier, since I was little. I’ve recently been feeling awful, almost like the feeling of when you think you forgot something. I’ve had this depression shit since 2 years ago. It never went away but it got better and now it’s worse. 2 years ago I was there mentally. I got good grades and was conscience of my emotions except for my numbness. But now, I feel like I’m not there anymore. I feel like I’m inside a fogged mirror. I have no concept of time or consequence, it’s more than just an “I don’t care anymore” mood, it’s more like a “no matter how hard I try to do things differently to clear up this fog so I can have emotions, it fogs up again, and I’m so tired” mood. I always feel judged intensely in the halls of someone glances at me. I’m afraid of people. I take things the wrong way if someone says it wrong all the time and I always want to be invisible. And it’s not just that either, it’s feeling like my friends hate me and that nobody cares about me like they do other people, and that I’m just a second choice to everyone. Even if I don’t have s.a., so what? I just need to know what’s going on. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t get help because of everything, and I’ll keep falling until I reach the ground I guess. And I don’t want pity, I need help. There’s something wrong with me, it scares me, I don’t want to do this anymore.

I have two mf F’s I better get A+ on these quizzes and tests

oh no oh no oh no

not having a dating life is so fun bc you know you is ugly