wolfman - Page 7

not directed at anyone but please remember to include trans men in your man hatred

https://twitter.com/imurbastard/status/1365121147323494400?s=21

read my thread

thinking abt how my mom choosing to hide my autism from me for years quite literally made my life harder just because she didn't want to come to terms with the fact that i was different
and you'd think she'd have more sympathy for me when she KNEW i was autistic and i'd fail AP CLASSES or just generally not perform as well as the other students!! but no!
she's also the one who called me stupid when i made bad grades and told me that i made bad grades bc i was LAZY; or bc i was See More▼ "spending too much time acting like a middle schooler" (which translates to: you changed your name i don't like that)
so not only did she purposefully put me, her autistic child, in situations she KNEW would harm me, but then got MAD AT ME when they did?? what sort of sick and twisted person does that to their KID??
i literally don't know why i still fuucking care about her maybe it's the world's obsession with kids loving their mothers unconditionally but all the evidence of the past 18 fuucking years should really result in me hating her.

also if you have such an issue with someone liking a cartoon character who is pretty unproblematic; you should be coming for me for literally wanting to fuuck a (fictional) cannibalistic serial killer who manipulates and gaslights people lmao

the ableism and outright hypocrisy in this situation is so gross.
literally just let people enjoy things (as long as they aren't fuucking harmful!)

i started stimming really hard in art history today bc my professor started talking abt artists i like and he asked me after class if i was okay ?
HOW DO I TELL HIM THAT IM JUST REALLY INTO PROTO RENAISSANCE FLORENTINE ART

people will be like OMG i have such a thing for age gaps i’m 18 and my boyfriend is 20 ??
me: i am madly in love with 55 year old danish actor mads mikkelsen

not to brag but hannibal lecter is my boyfriend and we do murder people together

this sea is too familiar
how many nights have i drowned here?
how many times have i drowned?
/lyrics

i'm gonna go on a little rant so:
if you think being a "yandere" is cool Please get away from me
i have become obsessed with people i am romantically interested in so many times in my life and every single time i have scared them away because i get so possessive and weird.
the yandere trope is, by all means, an ableist representation of BPD; a disorder I HAVE.
BPD affects all my relationships negatively, and frankly, the fact that you CHOOSE TO ADOPT my mental illness symptoms See More▼ because you think it's CUTE, disgusts me beyond belief.
now i'm not saying that I would ever actually hurt someone because i love someone, but there have been plenty of times my brain has made the switch from "love" to "lovesick" and my intrusive thoughts rule me for days, weeks even.
i nearly hospitalized myself twice in the past 2 weeks because of this. it's NOT CUTE!

a ~life update~
good things from the past few days:
- i talked to my parents over the phone for the first time since I came out - they seemed okay. No hard feelings I think
- i set up an appointment with a therapist who specializes in helping trans people (my current therapist is kinda transphobic)
- i started my classes at school! they are going well so far :)
- i officially started going by will with my professors/peers
bad things from the past few days: See More▼
- i was bleeding profusely for several days because I stopped taking my estrogen pills (it was making me dysphoric; but now i get heavy periods/migraines again lol)
- i was hella sick for like 2 days bc i forgot to take my meds and i was literally too nauseous to Take the Pills
- i almost hospitalized myself twice. i think i'm getting better tho
indifferent things (neither good nor bad)
- i think i'm starting to get over my current FP. it is a painful process but I think it'll be good for both of us in the long run...

i hope we both die
/lyrics