The beginning of the end
HAPPY THANKSGIVING said the hole family Then they dug into the food, a few minutes later a loud noise fills the house.Joey grabs his shotgun. wait here!said Joey.Mike grabs his camera and follows Joey.*joey and mike go outside right out of the corner of mikes eye he sees fire*Joey!said Mike.What what!?said Joey.FIRE!!said Mike.That looks like a neon light....said Joey.Oh.said Mike*then Joey and mike see two child size figures in front of the neon light*Joey picks up some binoculars and points them at the figures**He still sees the figures but in the neon light is a craft buried in the dirt*Its a spaceship!said Joey.Lemme see!said Mike.*he takes the binoculars*OH JEEZE.said mike.Ya i know...said Joey.*3 red lines appear on joeys head*OH MY $#!%. said Mike.RUN!!!said mike.*mike runs back to the house.**Joey looks straight ahead and the figure is pointing something at him that has a blue glow**The figure pushes a certain button and it makes an eerie sound**then joey blacks out.*Comment for part 2!!!!Join Qfeast to read the entire story!
Sign In. It is absolutely free!
"Wait here!" said Joey. Mike grabbed his camera and followed Joey outside. Right out of the corner of his eye, Mike saw fire.
"Joey!" said Mike.
"What?" said Joey.
"Fire!" said Mike. See More▼
"That looks liek a neon light..." said Joey.
"Oh." said Mike. Joey saw two child sized figures in front of the light. Joey picks up some binoculars and points them at the figures. He notices that the neon light is attached to a craft buried in the dirt.
"It's a spaceship!" said Joey.
"Lemme see!" said Mike. He took the binoculars. "Oh jeez..." said Mike.
"Yeah, I know!" said Joey, excitedly. Just then, three red lines appeared on Joey's head.
"Oh, gosh!" screamed Mike. "Run!" He ran back to the house.
Joey looked straight ahead, and one of the figures was pointing something at him that had a blue glow. The figure pushed a button and it made an eerie sound.
Joey started seeing stars before blacking out.
I think to make it better though, you could maybe put " around the speech? It's sort of hard to read the story when all the words are just jumbled together! Besides that, I think your writing is fine! :D Keep up the good work!