A field trip, Gay Directors, and a Musical Acid Trip

This is a humour musical my fren and I are doing. It's a lot of exaggerated (and not so exaggerated) stories about our band-- Enjoy--

published on September 2111 reads 8 readers 5 not completed

Act One

We all know what makes a good football game; The Cheerleaders, the Water Girls-- Oh. And I guess the football players are pretty important too. But I think we can all agree on the most important part of a good game...

[Screen pans to image of Marching Band]

The marching band of course! But Marching Band is much, much more than just standing outside on the field and walking around with a horn. Marching band is a wonderful way to spend time with your friends, and make some new friends, too. It allows you to feel the joy of wearing a fancy uniform and play wonderful music. Marching band is where all of the people of the school unite. The jocks, the nerds, the people in between; All of them are here. Band is a family.

[Screen pans to band students, outside, just before band class starts. They're all giggling, smiling, acting like fools while they wait for the directors to show up]

It's also a strange combination of hell and the best time of your life.

[The two directors, MR. HENNIC  and MR. MCCARTHY enter. MCCARTHY blows his whistle.]

[HENNIC] Good morning, Alder Royale High School Marching Lion-Hawks! Who is ready to practice?

[Three Alto Saxophones, BREA, NICK, and HOLLY all raise their hands at the same time]

[HENNIC]  Wonderful! Well, let's begin. Don't forget to check your key signature!

[MCCARTHY]  You have a memorisation test on Friday.

[Band members groan at the mention of a memorisation test. McCarthy
gives two tweets of the whistle, the students stand at ease*]

[HENNIC] Wonderful postures! Wonderful! [he claps]

[HENNIC gives three tweets of the whistle, the band performs a call to attention* .  A few students stumble.

[MCCARTHY]  NO, NO, DON'T DO THAT!  [He stamps his foot and tweets the whistle]

[The band groans]

[MCCARTHY]  AGAIN!

[The whistles blow and the band jumps to attention. This time there is no falling or stumbling. HENNIC claps]

[HENNIC]  Wonderful! Wonderful! Now let's hear all of you play!

[The directors give whistle tweets in time, the band plays terribly, with wrong notes thrown about and poor tone quality.]

[MMCARTHY]  STOP! [He stamps aggressively and waved his arms.]

[HENNIC] Calm down, McCarthy. Perhaps they just need a water break?

[MCCARTHY] Fine, fine. WATER BREAK! FIVE MINUTES! You guys better get yourself together by the end of this day or SO HELP ME--

[HENNIC drags MCCARTHY away]

[Nick]  He is much grumpier than usual. Perhaps it's the stress of having such a wild band? See, we are a bit out of control. We were a bit better last summer...

[An innocent freshman, TIMOTHY looks up , full of confusion]

[TIMOTHY] Last summer? What was it like?

[Nick, Brea, and Holly look at eachother, then look around]

[The whisper for a moment and turn back to Timothy]

[HOLLY] Well we'll just have to show you.

[TIMOTHY, HOLLY, BREA, and NICK gather around a patch of grass on the edge of the field, dead and dry.]

[HOLLY] Stand in it.

[They chuckle as Timothy stands in the centre of the patch]

[BREA]  This is why we don't have a second drum major.

[HOLLY  holds up a flyer labelled "LOST EGO; CAN BE HEARD FROM A TEN THOUSAND MILE RADIUS; IF FOUND, PLEASE CONTACT ME AT 111IMBETTERTHANYOU@trumpet.net. REWARD; $900; ONLY HALF THE VALUE OF THE GREATEST INSTRUMENT EVER"]

[HOLLY] This is what became of old Ginger's trumpet.

[NICK, HOLLY, and BREA] momentarily gaze down at NICK's crotch area; The two girls shake their heads in unison]

[HOLLY] And it all happened...

[NICK] ...Last Summer...

[BREA] ...At band camp!

[cue slightly out of tune, yet well played flute music]

[HOLLY] Our favourite trumpet, Gingersnap
He played it very well!
But then he lost his instrument
And that was anything but swell!

[BREA] Beloved Alto Nick
He said he had a Brick
But that brick was just his dick
That joke was a little sick...

[BAND IN UNISON]  LAST SUMMER AT BAND CAMP!
WHERE ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG
LAST SUMMER AT BAND CAMP WHEN CASSIE LOST HER THONG
LAST SUMMER AT BAND CAMP
WHEN WE WROTE THIS BAND CAMP SONG!
LAST SUMMER AT BAND CAMP
COME ON LETS SING ALONG!

[NICK] Our old drum major got the plague!
He puked at marching class
And that explains the vile brown patch
Out in the band field's grass!

[HOLLY]  And don't forget about the flute!
[NICK] A tale so moist and mushy!
[BREA] When a Ginger named Michelle...
[SAXES IN UNISON] STUCK A FLUTE IN HER--
[MCCARTHY] HEY!

[BAND]  IT HAPPENED
LAST SUMMER AT BAND CAMP
WHERE WE'RE ALL A TAD BIT CRAZY!
LAST SUMMER AT BAND CAMP
WHEN THE TUBAS WERE REALLY DAMN LAZY
LAST SUMMER AT BAND CAMP!
NO WATER, DEHYDRATION!
LAST SUMMER AT BAND CAMP
TWO WEEKS OF OUR VACATION!

[Everyone stops dancing and singing as MCCARTHY returns to the set. Timothy is staring at the saxophones in horror. With a small yell of disgust, he hops off the patch of grass where the drum major had puked.)

[MCCARTHY] ALRIGHT! WATER BREAK IS OVER! BACK TO PRACTICE!

[The band groans and heads back to their spots to practice]
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Comments (5)

Helpless
You had me at MMCARTHY.
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roger.the.boi
Oop--
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Helpless
STUCK A FLUTE UP HER-
I like it.
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on September 21
roger.the.boi
Aside from our friend MMCARTHY, how is it?
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Helpless
:^)
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