To Be Loved.

To Be Loved.

Everyday, the carpet is being pulled out from under my feet. I'm also being hurt, mentally or physically, but I'll endure whatever pain necessary to keep them safe. I can only hope that it will get better soon.

published on January 28, 20164 reads 4 readers 0 not completed

One Wish

I keep waiting for the day when my world will stop being pulled out from under me. But by now, I should know better than to wish for anything more than the Hell I'm living in.
I always feel as though I'm falling, getting closer to the solid ground that threatens my very existence, as well as my sanity.
If I get was given one wish, I would wish for anything but this. I would wish for a way out of the pain and suffering that is my everyday life.

I'm used to this by now. I have grown accustomed to the pain I feel when he hurts me, to the fear when he shouts at her or at me. But it still doesn't stop the flutter of my heart when I know he's about to hit me.
"Cassie!" he yells. I look up to see what I did this time. Jack is looking furiously at the dishes I haven't done yet because I'm doing my homework.  
"I'm sorry, I was just trying to-" I try to explain, but he cuts me off angrily.
"I don't care what you were trying to do! I want these dishes spotless or you can count on a good beating," he sneers.
I close my book and trudge to the sink, feeling his eyes bore into me. I grab a plate and start rubbing a soapy rag across it.
Eventually, Jack grabs his beer and leaves. It takes only a few moments for the yelling to begin.
"You worthless scum!" Jack shouts. I know he's talking to my mother, for he has yelled at me for the time being and he practically ignores Callie and Conner. He screams more things at her, and I hear Conner start to cry.
I put down the plate and rush over to Conner who is sitting by a pile of old toys. I pick him up and start rocking him in my arms.
"Shoo, Conner, it's alright. Everything will be alright," I whisper into his ear, but the problem with what I'm saying is that I know it's a lie.
When Conner finishes wailing, I set him down on the floor beside me and finish washing and putting away the dishes.
Callie comes in, with her five-year-old cuteness which is ruined by the tangled hair and patched clothes. Her eyes are wide and filled with tears.  
I pull her in for a hug, stroking her blonde hair and whispering a song to her.
"Merrily we fall out of line, out of line," I whisper, still stroking her hair. I pull away and get on my knees so I'm looking into her eyes.  
"Everything will be fine, I promise," I say as I push damp hairs out of her face. She sniffles.
"Cassie, when does it end?" Her eyes plead for an answer, and I see the spark of hope that has long since fused out in me.
"I don't know, Cal." I try my best to smile at her.
Jack comes in, smelling of booze and walking unsteadily.
"What're y'all doing, lazy bugs? Get yer selves up and clean this dang house."He grabs another bottle of beer and throws the empty one at Callie.
I pull Callie out of the way before it hits her. Anger boils my blood.
"I think you've had enough," I snap as I suddenly grab the new bottle out of his hand. I instantly regret it, knowing that this will result in a serious beating.
He looks at me, and I run out of the kitchen to the yard. He follows me, staggering. Eventually he grabs me and drags me to the back of the house.
He rips his belt off and hits me everywhere. I scream and try to run multiple times but his grasp never fails to render me helpless.
The whole time, all I can think about is if I wasn't born into this life. I can only hope for a better tomorrow, even though I know I will never be happy again.
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