The Phoenix

The Phoenix

Phoenix (Lucille Lockwood), once thought she was a human being. That is until an entity started to appear in her dreams, once she lived a normal life, free from the disasters that life caused. Until one day the Abnormalities discovered the existence of a new light generation, the Phoenix. Lucille discovers the struggle it takes to make sure the light she was given shines across the globe to bring its kindness, and warmth to all humanity.

published on September 0920 reads 13 readers 8 not completed
Chapter 1.

Chapter 1

“Lucy! Run my child run!” I ran as quick as I could through the dark, and humid hall. Everything I passed was twisted in such a way like a horror movie in the creepy asylum. The front doors were rusted, with creaks that echoed through the building.
        “They’d hear me,” I told myself figuring out a way to escape without being noticed. “The window!” I thought, sprinting towards the window I glanced around the room to retrieve anything that could possibly help me open the window. In my peripheral vision was an object, a metal rod used from an old metal table for the laboratory. I grabbed it quickly and used my strength to open the window, there I made my escape until…

        “LUCY!!!” my mother bellowed from the downstairs living room, awaiting my arrival to her view.
        “Yes, mom?” I replied quite scared of what had happened to get me into this amount of trouble.
        “You’ve slept in late, and now you’re not going to arrive at school on time. Tell me, what dream is more important than your damn education!”
        “Nothing mom, I’m heading to school right now enjoy your day!” I gathered my bag rushing to the blue suburban parked outside my house. Inside was my friend, she had beautiful golden locks that were bright and shiny when the sun's ray hit them. She also beautiful ocean blue eyes, that sparkled whenever she smiled.
        Opening the suburban door she spoke “Jesus Christ Lockwood, get your shit together.” her name was Rachel.
        “If I did, I wouldn’t be me,” I replied
        “I know I know, but then we wouldn’t be late every day.” the conversation only lasted a second before I collapsed and the dream continued.
        
        “GRAB HER!” I bolted for the gates, leaving them sprinting after me. I arrived grabbing the bars of the gates, then started to climb the pole. “You won’t get far Lucille!!” they gave a look of vexation. I ran the walls to the end, I leaped off the wall and landed on my arm,  fracturing it. I closed my eyes in anguish, the pain scorching inside. I was free, but I didn’t know where I was, where was I?
        “Welcome Phoenix to your new home.” A light appeared in front of me, splashing my face. A figure appeared of a woman, the image cleared. The flames her hair appeared to be flourished wildly around her. Her eyes were the sun shining across the land, blinding those who looked directly.
        “Phoenix?” I questioned, appearing with shock, and awe. She glanced at me eyes dimming to a darker color, the look of red. Every inch of light that surrounded her dimmed, there she appeared to look human. She had pale skin, hair with the colors of red, and yellows patterned in the way to make flames. She sauntered over to me kneeling to my level, I stared at her, the view of her made me feel warm inside. “Who are you?” I asked her.
        “I am-”

        I woke up in a hospital room, blinded by the light on the ceiling, around me I was surrounded by people. “Are you okay Lucille?” I glanced around the room, it was a familiar room, similar to the one in my dream.
        “What happened?” I questioned.
        “You just collapsed, I had to call the school to explain why you were late.” Her mother replied a sound of panic flooded her voice. She was agonized, afraid I was going to die.
        The doctor walked in, looking bewildered about the results he held in his hand, “Hello, Mrs. Lockwood can I speak with you?” he asked.
        “Yeah, what seems to be the problem?” She made her way out of the room, followed by the doctor.
        “Your daughter seems to be carrying a blood type our machines don’t even know?” he revealed the results.

        “My name is Hestia, goddess of the hearth and its flame.” she replied

It all ended, everything changed, and I didn’t know what was happening.
Join Qfeast to read the entire story!
Sign In. It is absolutely free!
4.8
Please Rate:
4.8 out of 5 from 4 users
Add story to favorites
▼Scroll down for more stories

Comments (8)

Euphoria
Okay, so the first thing I notice is grammar. There are a lot of errors with punctuation and capitalization. Maybe just do a few proof-reads before publishing?
Also, there should probably be a description. The description is what sells the story and convinces the reader to read it.
Next, there's the whole issue with timing. Everything that happened in that chapter See More▼
reply
AngelicPhoenix
If I do the planning I won't finish it, and I don't have a description because I don't know what it's going to be about. The other stuff I'll try my hardest to better.
reply
AngelicPhoenix
Thanks
reply
Report
on September 10
Euphoria
Np! I can't wait to see where you take this. It's a good story concept.
reply
Report
on September 10
AngelicPhoenix
I'll do that thanks
reply
Report
on September 10
Euphoria
You should work out all of the details before you even start writing.
reply
Report
on September 10
AngelicPhoenix
I'm working out the details slowly
reply
Report
on September 10
Euphoria
That's gonna be a pretty big issue, then. Writing a book is hard work. I spend more time planning for my books than I do actually writing them as do most authors. If you don't know what it's going to be about, then it's not gonna go very far. Planning is essential.
reply
Report
on September 10
Report
on September 10
Report
on September 10