A catchy narrative killed the cat

A catchy narrative killed the cat

Well let’s see, the Christmas tree is on fire, the pool is empty and this emo kid wants a life. This couldn’t get much worse for every 15 year old without a girlfriend who happens to have be tossed into Boston on April first 2019 And I f*cking dare you to question the cover image for this story I will throw hands

published 12 days ago3 reads 3 readers 2 not completed

Chapter one: April first is comedy gold

Tw for strong language//

April first, is without a doubt to everyone across the world who doesn’t hold abode in the underside of a rock, a fools day. Some people enjoy it with all their immature, childlike hearts, others disdain it with force beyond human knowledge and some pretend it doesn’t exist. That wouldn’t be the case in Boston, New York as of 2019. And every other year for that matter.  It had been blasted on all the local news stations, screamed over the school’s pr system and grumbled about by unhappy parents. Prank wars, what a stupid ass name for a day. But alas, in Boston it was a yearly goal, nay, dare I say tradition- to be the most despicable glob of limbs and flesh you could be for 24 hours. It may have resembled a purge, or the rotten tomatoes critics after watching the purge.

What I’m implying is this was no light hearted matter in Boston, no no this was a- a... well it was a “huge fookin’ deal Mac!”

However Mac did not think it should be a “deal” at all, in any case really. If it was up to the lone wolf 15 year old, he should have the day off to sleep for his sake. He swore if he had to gaze upon one more algerbra problem and eat another lunch in the  band room he’d surely go mad. And if he was to stay home, that would be a splendid time to open his backpack at home for the first time since before spring break and finish the stacks of overdue work he has been collecting. But lord almighty knows that Mac Arthur Joseph does /not/ do work outside of school. But that’s another debate for another counciling appointment. However, on a different note- Mac does like his collections. He is, while begrudgingly, known throughout the school (or thunder dome as he calls it)  as the local hoarder of well, everything and anything under the sun. Wether it be nick knacks at the back of Spencer’s gifts or failing grades he had plenty of things to collect.

So that, not so oddly enough, was why Mac despised April first. If there was anything he was familiar with, it’s the heavy weight of cans marbles and coins being thrown into his backpack while he walks down the hallways. Nothing makes him smile more than being stereotyped for his personality. Ah, so much joy is brought for every scream, insult and venom laced name thrown his way! His list of guilt worthy memories truly could be wrung out like wet towel and it would weigh 30 pounds less. But when was he lucky enough to miss a prank on April first?apr

Ah right, it’s the same number of times he’s kissed a girl. “Or talked to a girl, or been in a comfortable presence with one”

“James! You ass, shut up. I know where my social standings lie, must you always rub it in?” Mac drawls, stomping down the concrete lined hallway with remorse.

“Oh come on dude, tomorrow’s April first! So there’s going to be a chance for you!” The mullet blonde cooed to his friend, who was currently fiddled with his locker combo.

“A chance for me to what!? Get my life crushed under the boot of puberty?” Mac questions, slamming his locker open, nearly hitting the other in his dopey smug face. “Uh, no. People notice you on the first, Yano? Since you’re all emo and lonely so it’s easy to pick on you!” Mac glares at James, scowl plastered on his face. “Not helping Jamey-“ I’m just saying you could get someone to pity you into being their yah-know-yah-know?” James quips suggestively, smacking his gum with each syllable.

“DAMNIT JAMES! Go to your bus, we’ll talk later.” “So your open to the idea?” James intergects. “I’m open to gaining a popularity anywhere, and the idea could be worse” it was true, the surfer has had a slew of awful ideas. One in particular is the reason there banned from the Bronx zoo till graduation. James smiles wide, opening his mouth to talk but the slamming of mac’s locker cuts him off. “Go. Home.” “Kay” James purrs with a wink. ‘What an asshole’ Mac thinks with a grin, adjusting his gray beanie.

With a sigh, mac staggers past the screaming teenagers on instagram and onto the mustard yellow bus. The kids abroad are even worse, close spaces were never his thing. So when he sat in the middle with a six year old shouting fornite parodies and two girls updating their Snapchat bio, so, so very loudly (who would have guessed someone could do that loudly?) he wasn’t exactly pleased. There was no other seats though, so this will do better than getting an ear full of chip crunching form the girl two seats ahead. But this wasn’t shit compared to the first.

Oh god.

Tomorrow, he knew, would be a dismal, dismal day.


// sorry this is so short! I wrote it in like seven minutes drinking peach coke with period cramps :’) hope it’s an acceptable start, what do you guys think?
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Comments (2)

Fuck_yourself_with_a_cactus
Beautiful
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Whatruanacorn
Aw thanks I hate it 😅
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12 days ago
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12 days ago