Dear Love, Do you exist? I need something to hold me up right now.I hold Jackson's arm to steady myself. Shivers tremble throughout my entire body.
"Did you know about this?" I say to Anslee.
"No, I swear!" She says, scared.
"Alison, let's just go. Please." Jackson pulls me and I don't argue. Since I refuse to have anything to do with my parents, I live with Mrs. Johnson, Kate's mom. I stay in her guest bedroom, which is on the first floor.
"Will you come tonight?" I ask. "Today is the first official day of spring break!"
"Sure, I'll come. But can we just ask if I can spend the night? My mom and Mrs. J know how I feel about you. They know I need you." His voice sounds like everything pure. The drip of honey, the swish of the wind, the patter of rain. That's love.
"Fine. But YOU will do the talking, not me." I say as we walk to the house. I have a hard time calling it my house even though all of my stuff is moved in. My mom gets out of jail in a month. I don't have plans on seeing her.
I don't want to see that awful woman. That terrible person. That villain that I hate.
There is no ounce of love in my mother or father. The only people I love are Mrs. J and Jackson. They love me. They won't hurt me.
They care. I have trouble expressing my feelings. I can't say them to him because I would be embarrassed. I started writing letters to him, but kept them under my mattress. They are love letters. They explain how I feel, that I can't be without him.
"What are you thinking about?" He asks.
"You." I say and he smiles, his beautiful smile.
I need him to know, to know how I feel, but I am not ready to tell him. Not yet.