Respect mutafucka, you speak it?Okay, I'm going to write about a phenomen that i have noticed on Qfeast (and other websites) which bothers me a lot and that is: ALMOST KILLING PEOPLE JUST FOR THEIR OPINIONS. Could you not?
I have always thought we should respect every person's opinion, because well, we want other people to respect ours too, dont we? That is, until i read this very interesting article from a philosopher, whose name i have forgotten, unfortunately. He said that we should NOT always respect other people's opinions. That was new for me, i have always been taught to respect other people's opinion, no matter how much it might go against my own opinion. The good man stated, that if someone's opinion was unfounded, you would not have to respect it. He said: "why would you respect someone's opinion if he doesnt have any good arguments for it? That's nonsense, if someone has an opinion he shall make sure he can explain WHY he has that opinion and show that he has spend some time on it, otherwise it's just a loose thing that doesnt deserve anyone's attention."
I partly agree with him, because something else that bothers me is that when people say to a homophobe for example that he shouldn't be homophobic, someone else starts yelling at that person and tells him to respect the opinion of the homophobe and then i'm like b*tch shut up, a homophobe doesnt respect other people, gay people, so why should we respect him? But as i'm getting older i realise the homophobe probably cant help that he or she is so uncultured and close minded and that i probably shouldnt blame him for that. But does that mean i should just let him be? No! Respecting someone's opinion does not mean that you just dont say anything, that would kill every interesting discussion on this planet. You can argue with someone and still respect that person's opinion i think. You just try to let him look at things from a different perspective, which might help him a lot, well if that isnt respectful , i dont know what is.
Yet i think the philosopher, no matter how wise he may be, missed something in his story and that is the difference between respecting someone's OPINION and respecting the PERSON who has that opinion. I'm gonna give you an example:
Say, there is a man, lets call him Trumpy, who states that black people are inferior to white people and he wants to make black people slaves again as in "the good old days". That doesnt sound like an opinion you need to respect, does it? This man is a racist and when you stumble up on a person like that on social media you probably feel the need to type: "YOU FCKING C*NT IDIOT WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FCKING MIND, WHO WOULD SAY SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT? YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE RETARD, GO TO HELL!" Cheers my friend, Trumpy deserves nothing more than all the swearwords you know (although saying retard, a word which is sadly used against people with down syndrome, is a bit over the top, because people with down syndrom are probably much smarter than Trumpy but that is a whole different story), BUT are your letters in caps lock going to help anyone? No! The only thing it will lead to is an ARGUMENT. And by that i mean a very violent one, in which two persons scream at eachother without actually listening to what his opponent has to say. Eventually one of the two, most of the time the person who started the argument by typing in caps lock, will get tired, say: "enough internet for today" and go to bed. Trumpy will stay behind with his opinion and he will still think he is right. N o t h i n g has changed, it has just made two people very upset.
Well and this is the point where i want to jump in with my theory about how you could also handle situations like this. Some opinions, dangerous opinion's like Trumpy's opinion, are like a bomb. And what do you do when you have to dismantle a bomb? Are you going to scream at it and beat it up for being such a dangerous, stupid thing? Of course not! The bomb will explode and only cause more damage. Instead, you have to be careful and gently try to defuse it.
This is the same way you should handle an opinion that goes completely against yours, if you are going to yell at the person with the "wrong" or even dangerous opinion, he will not listen to you and he will not try to change. He's probably going to get even angrier and believe in his opinion even more, because people with other opinions are so stupid and only scream at him!
Try to stay calm. Kindly explain the person why you think he should maybe ease down a little and look at things from a different perspective. Explain your opinion and make sure to use good arguments. In my opinion, you can use the word fcking to make your arguments sound stronger and to let the other person know this is serious business, but do not insult the person. Remember, you dont have to respect the person's OPINION but you do have to respect the PERSON. This way, your opponent will get the idea that you are worth listening to and he might even get convinced that you are right. When this doesnt work and your opponent starts insulting you, even though you didnt insult him, do not insult him back. Remind yourself that that will make the bomb explode. Instead, try to make the person stop swearing, simply by being kind, or use sarcasm. If the person is too stupid to get your sarcasm and keeps insulting you, it's okay to give up. In that case it would be better to spend your energy on someone who does not agree with you, but does want to listen to you. You tried your best, but there is a limit.
I hope this will help you to become better at solving arguments, you will see that you will become a respected person if you act the way i described. I'll summarize it for you in a few easy steps below:
1: you find someone with a dangerous opinion or an opinion so stupid, that it makes you furious
2: you controll you anger and decide to kindly tell the person why you think he is wrong
3: you give your opinion and ask the other person to listen to it
4: you use good arguments to support your opinion
5: A. the person is convinced and will tell you you're right OR B. he tells you he respects your opinion but hasnt changed his mind OR C. he starts insulting you. In case of C, turn to step 6
6: you stay calm and try to make the other person calm down by being kind, or try to defeat him with the beautiful weapon of sarcasm
7: A. the person calms down OR B. the person keeps insulting you
8: in both cases you are done, focus on other things now and keep the good work up!