This good enough to start a story?

It was midnight, the clock struck twelve as she ran home, her hair falling beside her side, and her dress getting torn by the branches as she ran quickly through the forest. "I'm gonna be late!" She yelled before waking up.
Autumn was a beautiful girl with brown hair that fell along her back all the way down to her waist, she wore a plaid shirt, and blue jeans. "Passed out in your everyday clothes I see." Her mom said smiling as she passed by the room, Autumn got up and changed, she changed into a Supernatural tee and ripped up jeans before putting on her combat boots, going downstairs to grab her back pack. "Don't forget your brother and I won't be home for dinner tonight!" Autumn rushed out the door,
"OK MOM!" She got on the bus and she was happy, school had finally started.

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Answers (3)

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neefflove
A piece of good writing advice I was given for starting stories could help you a little. To capture the readers attention the most it's good to start with a sentence that makes the reader start asking questions. Something vague and out of the ordinary. Your first sentence is okay. The reader could be asking why she is running home and what she's late for, but I think it could be stronger if you started with something more vague and thought provoking if that makes any sense.
on August 15
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ravenclaw_rivals_hufflepuff
I agree with @Sharkboi and disagree
on August 14
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Sharkboi
I feel like your describing things too much where they don't need to be described. Dragging on by every little thing the character does is quite boring. But adding more to the conversation and what the characters emotions are will make your story better. Other than that its a pretty good beginning
Wolfhumanlover
There's more coming out it's just that's what I had so far.
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on August 14
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on August 14
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