SuburbanToastDad

(Quick note: I cannot use private chat)
Howdy, It’s SuburanToastDad. I'm qualified in making dad jokes and making myself suffer by listening to sad ukulele songs. I don't do a lot See More▼
on January 27
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I glared at a toddler for taking the last sample at Costco.
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on December 06, 2018
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Eggnog my best worst enemy
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on December 06, 2018
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i wish i had a lobster
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on December 06, 2018
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toes are weird
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SuburbanToastDad
yeah
on November 24, 2018
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fuqin.freak
alyssa's toes r long
on November 24, 2018
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on November 23, 2018
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i'm a better pornstar than you
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fuqin.freak
@SuburbanToastDad
bICTH

IIIIIII GET ALL THE MEN WITH MONEYS BECAUSE THATS WHO MAKE THE PORN AND THEY LIKE GIRLS BICTH
on November 05, 2018
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SuburbanToastDad
Also im not everyone
on November 05, 2018
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SuburbanToastDad
Yeah, but I get the hot gay men.
You get stay at home billy with acne scars
on November 05, 2018
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fuqin.freak
EVERYONE, I SAY
on November 05, 2018
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fuqin.freak
everyone watches porn for the girls
on November 05, 2018
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on November 05, 2018
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I was a pornstar during equality club (The gaggle of gays).
Honestly that was the first time I was the whole meal instead the snack.
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fuqin.freak
unacceptable
on November 06, 2018
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SuburbanToastDad
I think we're both good. Some people just prefer one over the other
on November 05, 2018
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fuqin.freak
everyone looks forward to the dessert and some even skip dinner just to get to it so,
on November 05, 2018
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SuburbanToastDad
I want the photo of it
on November 04, 2018
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SuburbanToastDad
agreed but remember dessert is optional
on November 04, 2018
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There is one more comment. Show ▼
on November 04, 2018
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I am the okayest boy
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on November 04, 2018
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My dog is a good bagel.
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on October 27, 2018
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I look like a really smart dipshit.
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on October 27, 2018
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I'm kinda tempted to go by Ned instead of Hayden.
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on October 27, 2018
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My mom told me my hair will get darker like my dad's.
My immediate thought is me with black hair.
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SuburbanToastDad
never
on October 26, 2018
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fuqin.freak
do it
on October 21, 2018
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on October 21, 2018
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created a poll
Going to change my profile name
poll
Keep it the ...
ToastDad
TheLemonDict...
BlueLemons
+ 4 more
1 vote 1 profile pollby SuburbanToastDad
on October 17, 2018
gay panic.
thanks youtube
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on October 06, 2018
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i love not being able to breathe through my nose and mouth.
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on September 30, 2018
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this damn potato
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on September 17, 2018
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i came home from school one day and walked to my desk. And all i found was a paper on my desk with a note from my brother.
"your gay"
thanks.
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on September 09, 2018
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spiderman can lift a elevator with 5 people in it but can't throw a fat man off a roof.
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SuburbanToastDad
homecoming and the new spiderman game.
on September 09, 2018
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SuicideSmileyface
Homecoming?
on September 09, 2018
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on September 09, 2018
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my sister sent me a picture of myself when i was 2 with a bucket on my head.
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SuburbanToastDad
honestly seems like something i'd do now.
on September 09, 2018
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on August 20, 2018
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how do you put handcuffs on someone with one hand??
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on August 18, 2018
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