LoneWolf065 - Page 3

what's it like to have any concept of human emotion?

__♥__♥_____♥__♥___ Put This
_♥_____♥_♥_____♥__ Heart
_♥______♥______♥__ On Your
__♥_____/______♥__ Page If
___♥____\_____♥___ You had
____♥___/___♥_____ Your Heart
______♥_\_♥_______ Broken See More▼
________♥_________

we played a cross between red rover and tackle football at rehearsal today to get us comfortable with being close to each other and just to have fun, but i was sprinting and dancing so much within two hours that i just about coughed a lung out and literally had to sit down for the rest of the game
i wouldn't have done it except i physically fell over, and i was proper pissed off

Happy birthday Philza!!
*coughcough* Killza

having a panic attack at rehearsal because i've never played a lead before, we open in two weeks, and i have a scene where i have to be held in place physically?
couldn't be me lol

not me ignoring the fact that my first post after coming back from the dead was me ranting about my brother's crimes in f'ucking Minecraft

MY F'UCkING BROTHER LEFT ME OUTSIDE IN MINECRAFT AND GOT ME KILLED
I GAVE HIM CONTROL OF A COUNTRY FOR 1 HOUR AND THIS IS WHAT HE DID
HE F'UCKING LOST MY ENCHANTED NETHERITE ARMOR AND POSSIBLY MY ENCHANTED DIAMOND SWORD
me and my vice president legitimately contemplated banishment because he might have LOST ME GOGY

(just something i wrote after having a panic attack at midnight last night. kinda gave me some clarity)

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I actually knew what was going on. If I could actually be proud of the choices I made, regardless of what happened later. But of course real life isn't like that.
Real life is a mess, just like me. Sometimes, I make decisions, not knowing what will happen, and that takes a risk that I don't enjoy taking.
Sometimes, See More▼ that risk pays off. Everything works out, and there's no reason to stress over it. God knows I don't need that.
Sometimes things aren't so perfect. I put myself out there, not knowing if I'll be okay. I make myself vulnerable. And it breaks me to know that the fear of this keeps me from so many opportunities that I know I have and don't take.
And sometimes I tear myself apart without even knowing why or having a reason. I let my fear of being broken break me on its own. I cry myself to sleep at night just from wondering what will happen. I go over and over in my head through the "what ifs" of tomorrow and let it drive me insane before snapping myself back to reality.
Nothing has happened.
I have nothing to tear myself apart about.
So why do I feel defeated?
And what have I lost myself to?