Editor and Revisor
I am interested in being a book editor if directing doesn't work out so if you have a story you want to be reviewed, edited, or commented on come here. Also, I can do reviews of stories on here but WARNING: I am going to be completely honest and be legitimately reviewing Qfeast stories. So just ask if you want me to do something for you!
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Please review what I have so far for this story. More is to come btw:
http://www.qfeast.com/story/v2ffJe/Balenor-s-Sweetheart-Hayley-s-Story
http://www.qfeast.com/story/v2ffJe/Balenor-s-Sweetheart-Hayley-s-Story
Balenor's Sweetheart - Hayley's Story
In this story, meet a young mage by the name of Hayley Suntora, and her story of how she became the last hope in saving her kingdom from Mosino and the Void.
on October 02, 2014
https://www.qfeast.com/story/Hwra5i/Misty-s-return-1?rel=sl
Please review- this is my first story on here and I'm not sure about it
Please review- this is my first story on here and I'm not sure about it
Misty's return (1)
Why? That's all she wants to know, on that evening. Why her? Her life and the worlds entwined
on October 02, 2014
Forty-Six
In a corrupt land called Quiara, everything it's citizens do is closely monitored and freedom is all but absent. It will take the courage of a small (but growing) group of rebels called the 46 (the meaning of life) to save Quiara and bring it back to it's former glory.
Um...what were the adjustments? And I'm going to read 1948 when I go to the library next week. I think I'm going next week anyways...
on July 26, 2014
on July 20, 2014
True Love Can Die
Attack of lung cancer. Living with it is bad enough, but getting teased about it lowers my self-esteem and brings on stronger pain. At least I have Ryan with me, he would never hurt me. Right?
Ok, I'll write more haha and sure, I'll try to reduce the speed in the next few chapters. Ty x
on July 08, 2014
In only two chapters, this story has already captured my undivided interest. With beautiful word choices and fascinating character development, the author has already gripped the readers heart.
Note: WRITE MORE. Also things are going a little fast so we don't have any real connection with the characters but that may all come in time.
Note: WRITE MORE. Also things are going a little fast so we don't have any real connection with the characters but that may all come in time.
on July 07, 2014
Tysm, it was late when I did it and maybe that had some effect on it? Anyway thank you, I will take note of that :)
on July 04, 2014
on July 04, 2014
Hey---- Recently I've been receiving a lot of membership requests and also helper requests. I am totally fine with that and even promote it as I am just one person and having many different opinions is in general a good thing. Please note though, I am still running this page and if your review is unsatisfactory I will take it down. I expect you to follow the rules as this is a "professional" page as we are handing out real advice and critiques. Don't take this as a threat as most See More▼ of you are doing truly magnificent and saying things I might not have said before. Thanks--- ElleyD
on July 03, 2014
Heartbreak Girl
Luke dedicates his life to Lauren, the one who never sees the truth.
Okay, so this is technically a Luke Hemmings fan fiction, but you don't have to know who Luke Hemmings or 5 Seconds of Summer are to understand it, because I'm just going to write it as a normal story. I hope you like it!
A classic high-shcool teen romance full of broken hearts, crushes, and friendzones... Good characters and nice plot. A good thing to read if you're craving something light.
Note: It's good but it sounds like all the other good teen romances out there.... You have the core of a great story but you have to make sure what you're building around the core is original See More▼ and interesting. Good luck and Good writing!
Note: It's good but it sounds like all the other good teen romances out there.... You have the core of a great story but you have to make sure what you're building around the core is original See More▼ and interesting. Good luck and Good writing!
on July 03, 2014
Thank you so much!! :D Yeah, I was thinking that I'm getting to the point too soon, haha!!
on July 02, 2014
The plot of this story is well set, in modern day. It follows a simple FanFic storyline with twists, and teaser chapters. It's one of the
FanFics that has brought most attention on qfeast!!! It started picking up good speed about 1/3 of the way into the story.
If I could change anything, it would be that some parts are TOO fast, you don't want to miss important See More▼ details that may confuse people if they're not included, besides that, GREAT job!!
FanFics that has brought most attention on qfeast!!! It started picking up good speed about 1/3 of the way into the story.
If I could change anything, it would be that some parts are TOO fast, you don't want to miss important See More▼ details that may confuse people if they're not included, besides that, GREAT job!!
on July 02, 2014
on July 02, 2014
OK, so, I had no idea this many people would be asking me to read all their stories so I'm going to have to limit the amount I'm reading. I cannot read 20 30-chapter-long stories and get to everyone in an appropriate amount of time. If the chapters are really short, like I know some are, that's a different story but on average it just takes too much time to read that much. I will read as much as I need to to come up with a good review and good critiques. If I have free time on See More▼ Qfeast I will definitely spend it finishing un-completely-read stories. Sorry but I hope you can understand!
on July 02, 2014
I've only done one chapter of the story below so its not completed yet x
on July 01, 2014
Falling For You
I shot up, realising I was in a metallic room. It was cold and I felt goosebump's appear on my arms, they were white as snow. It was a sickly white and as I tried to stand up, handcuffs were grabbing at my arms then I saw it, my arms were slit all over.
on July 01, 2014
Day of the Dog
Cassidy has just lost her mom, and is really, really hurting. On November 7th, her Dad and her visit Cassidy's mom at the graveyard. Later, when she's walking around the forest behind he house, she hears the wounded cry of an animal that just might help heal her heart. Enjoy! Rate, Follow, and Comment your suggestions!
Very touching and lovely story. I especially loved the details, the chest full of memories, how the tombstone was decorated, little thing that don't offer much to the plot but make the story more captivating. It has an interesting moral, portraying the pains of grief in a message that sometimes you just have to move on, "filling our hearts" with little things. See More▼
Note: I would extend this story a little bit. Even though the length feels about right in according to the plot, i think you could add a little more of those "little details" to make the story more interesting.
Note: I would extend this story a little bit. Even though the length feels about right in according to the plot, i think you could add a little more of those "little details" to make the story more interesting.
on July 02, 2014
Elleyod said i cld do a review too, yaaay!!! :D dont take it close to the heart, cause im not a pro like she is...
on July 02, 2014
on July 01, 2014
Hii, how do you enter ur story uhh?
on June 30, 2014
on June 30, 2014
Chosen
Every five years one child from each family 10-18 is chosen because of their abilities and Amethyst Brite is one of these. She must find out what element she controls and survive the Element Testing.
@CrystalDiamond2323 A truly amazing original story, with adventure, action, and even a pinch of romance. The "element" idea is very widely used and popular, but you managed to give it a new and exciting twist, while still keeping the well-liked theme. Good job! Plus, it reminds me of Dauntless Initiate training (in a good way, of course ;))
Note: There are See More▼ some small grammar mistakes throughout the story (note "small"). I recommend you go through the story once more and fix them. I also got confused in some parts of the story about who was talking when. Although this may be a big fix, you might want to make each character have his/her own unique style. If you can't in this story, try to do it if you ever make another story with different POV's. Lastly, as the story progressed, Amethyst no longer seemed to be the only main character (especially with the different POV's), so you might want to include the other important characters in your description.
All things considered, I'll give you two thumbs up! :D
Note: There are See More▼ some small grammar mistakes throughout the story (note "small"). I recommend you go through the story once more and fix them. I also got confused in some parts of the story about who was talking when. Although this may be a big fix, you might want to make each character have his/her own unique style. If you can't in this story, try to do it if you ever make another story with different POV's. Lastly, as the story progressed, Amethyst no longer seemed to be the only main character (especially with the different POV's), so you might want to include the other important characters in your description.
All things considered, I'll give you two thumbs up! :D
on July 03, 2014
on June 30, 2014
Ok the story below(Under the moonlight) isn't finished so far and the chapters can be short as well as it's probably got a lot of mistakes but..could you please review it? I'm hoping to become a author :(..So I'm trying to improve
http://www.qfeast.com/story/wYvuaW/Under-the-moonlight
http://www.qfeast.com/story/wYvuaW/Under-the-moonlight
Under the moonlight
This is a story as you know..Umm..no idea what else to say but..hope you enjoy ^_^
A very interesting monster story. It seems like if it heads down the path intended for it, it could turn out very well. This story of the traditional monsters will definitely become popular as the characters remain human and well developed. With the ominous MHA as the clear BBEG this story has a strong and interesting conflict and is unlike any other story on See More▼ Qfeast.
Note: This is a good story but may become a little repetitive of other monster stories so just be aware readers don't want to read the same thing all over again but otherwise good.
Note: This is a good story but may become a little repetitive of other monster stories so just be aware readers don't want to read the same thing all over again but otherwise good.
on June 30, 2014
on June 30, 2014
Matchmaker
Heather is an 16 year old girl who just moved from Georgia. As she starts a new school, she makes three unlikely friends. When te Fall Festival comes along, Candy, Coraline, and Tracy want to repay the favor by finding Heather a perfect match.
on July 02, 2014
yes dark is what I was going for so just say dark [when you say primitive it means unfinished or amateurish or bad] and yea i am reviewing a review cuz i want to make sure you aren't telling people bad reviews; so you have earned the right to review; before you post though please send the review to me so I can approve! Thanks and Congratulations!
on July 02, 2014
on June 30, 2014
Awesome I love honest reviewers.
The Legacy of DnP.
that's my story
The Legacy of DnP.
that's my story
Once you get past the grammar and a confusing setting, this story is one filled with action and adventure! With good characters, this story makes a strong impression. A fun lightness is cast about the story by the odd yet entertaining narration and perspective. If you're looking for a story that has slots of battles or things happening aka action, this is a good See More▼ story to read.
Note: Grammar needs work. Feel free to talk to me about it but lively story!
Note: Grammar needs work. Feel free to talk to me about it but lively story!
on July 02, 2014
on June 30, 2014
The Matchmaker
Lindsay started her 9th grade year as a regular student, but then she starts a blog that helps people in her school find their true match, but she has a secret... She has never been in a relationship.
@CrystalDiamond2323 A great story, focused on coming-of-age and middle school life. It is realistic and relatable. I love the Matchmaker blog idea. Thumbs up!
Note: I cannot seem to grasp where the plot is going. What is the problem? The climax? The solution? And so on...
P.S: the principal is so weird...LOL:p
Note: I cannot seem to grasp where the plot is going. What is the problem? The climax? The solution? And so on...
P.S: the principal is so weird...LOL:p
on July 03, 2014
on June 30, 2014
http://www.qfeast.com/story/YWprPl/A-Week-In-the-Life Please review my story. It's not done yet. ;)
A Week In the Life
Dive into a normal week for six sixth graders. Actually, I lied. Nothing about this week is normal, because Friday is the 7th grade dance! Peek into the perspectives of Avery, Emma, Lexi, Aaron, Cliff, and Ian! Updates every day!
on June 30, 2014
A classic teen romance, full of confusion and twists that bring this complex story to life. By looking into every character's point of view, which there are many (maybe too many for some's taste but regardless), you get the real feeling of a teen's thought process. This is a good story to read if you are looking for some insight on the drama in a teen's world. See More▼
Note: Which grade are they in? You switch their grade three times and they are a little young for true love. So take note, some may be offended by their young age.
Note: Which grade are they in? You switch their grade three times and they are a little young for true love. So take note, some may be offended by their young age.
on June 30, 2014
on June 30, 2014
New Girl (1)
Dawn is the new girl. Will she make friends at her new school? More importantly, what will happen when she becomes (Extremely good-looking) Brandon's neighbor?
I have thought of a perfect ending. Once I finish the party (1 more chapter) I have to say one more thing (1 chapter) then the epilogue (1 chapter)
on July 03, 2014
@ElleyD @MockingjayDistrict ElleyD is right. People will get bored if you just keep on adding OC's while the plot has already been resolved...maybe 3 or 4 more chapters to wrap up your story
on July 03, 2014
on June 30, 2014
If you want me to do a review: post your story on here [the link please] and just say please ;)
If you want me to edit: Let's talk
If you want me to help you with your story and/ or characters: Let's talk
Also if you are interested in doing a review or helping to edit or fix plot: Let's talk
If you want me to edit: Let's talk
If you want me to help you with your story and/ or characters: Let's talk
Also if you are interested in doing a review or helping to edit or fix plot: Let's talk
on June 30, 2014
